I'm sick of movies, television, and just our culture today, portraying fathers in this manner. There's movies about how incapable men are that stay at home with their kids, or sitcoms where the wife comes home and dad has messed up again with the kids. Poor dad. Doesn't know how to care of a child. Shouldn't have left him home to "babysit."
Let's review what a babysitter does. It's a very low-responsibility job that is short term. You hand the kids off and are no longer on duty when mom comes home.
Is that what you want your husband to be? Dads, do you really only want that short term, low-responsibility influence on your children the short time they are under your roof??
Adam drives me bananas on the weekends. He gets up and dresses the kids. For some reason, after I told him 3 times, he continues to put the green polo on Kyle, with little anchors on it, with shorts that belong to a different outfit! And the girls...don't get me started. He manages to find a shirt that I have shoved in the back of the drawer because it doesn't fit right, and he'll slap that shirt on them with some wild leggings and a black velvet skirt from a Christmas outfit.
Getting to church on the weekends also drives us both bananas. It's close to impossible. He stays at the breakfast table with the kids while I shower and get ready. I will have laid out their outfits. And what seems to be a 4 step process of getting the kids cleaned up, changed, and out the door turns into a 12 step process with lots of bumps in the road. I can hear the chaos and fighting happening from my bathroom and I'm so tempted to come out and "fix" whatever problem is going on. But I don't.
You see, dad has his strengths, too. I spend more time with the kids. I know their ins and outs. I know how telling Aubrie to go use the restroom before we leave is better than asking her to. I know that Emilie will not be capable of going and getting her shoes out of the closet even though they are laying on top of the shoe basket. She's 2! Her brain prevents her from doing simple functions like bending at the waist and reaching for a shoe! It bothers me a little as I can hear dad trying to work it out from the other room.
Am I happy they are running him through the ringer? Sort of. But I'm more happy that I have a co-parent who battles through the weekends and fathers his children.
If I storm out of the bathroom and get on him about the shoes he picked to go with their outfits, not wiping the syrup off Emilie's cheeks, not telling Aubrie to use the bathroom and giving her the option by asking her...it would all kill his confidence. I have the upper hand. I know how these kids work. I can sense Emilie's next melt down coming from a mile away. But if I go get on dad, I'm killing his desire to keep battling. I'm embarrassing him in front of the children. I will make him withdraw and not want to be involved with the kids. Pretty soon, I'll be getting myself ready for church, getting the kids ready for church, and dad's off watching sports center until we are all sitting in the car, ready to go. Who cares if Emilie has syrup on her cheeks? At least she smells good. And who cares it took him 30 minutes to do something that I could have done in 10?
Dads are vital to our families. Adam, and all men, encourages risk, spontaneity, pushing boundaries, and having courage. What he brings to our family dynamic is just as crucial as my ability to nurse a baby, put meals on the table, and kiss ouchies.
Ephesians 5:28-29 says, "In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church"
I encourage you, moms and wives, to embrace your husband's strengths. Cherish what he brings to the family. Tell him this weekend how much you appreciate him. Men love affirmation. My girls get what they want from their daddy. He listens to them, loves on them, buys them things...it's because they are always giving him affirmation. They give him those googly eyes and say stuff like, "Daddy is so strong!" "Daddy, you come home after work, ok? I miss you." "Daddy is sooo funny!"
I know Adam is funny and strong. But I assume he knows I think so. I don't tell him all the time like his girls do. But I need to. I want to see him get that big head and puff his chest out as he parades his wreck of a family into church on Sunday. Because he is a great dad. And he deserves to know it.
Happy Father's Day!
(Especially to my daddy. One of the best!) Pin It Now!
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